Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
