I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize