like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
