I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
tell me about the fingering
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