I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
