I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
