can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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