The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
