my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
a search helicopter?!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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