you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
