Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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