If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Fuck appropriateness.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
