The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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