So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
