Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
time to smoke my breakfast
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
