OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
