i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
