is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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