I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Barsexuality is the new black.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
