Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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