Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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