You really coming over, don't trick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
