So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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