Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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