I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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