no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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