Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
