I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
