three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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