Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
