my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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