franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
