you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize