a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
