We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
