I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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