What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
