I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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