He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize