You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
