I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
