Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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