dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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