Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
