Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
