You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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