haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize