well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
