we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
nutella sex= disaster
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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