So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
