btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
