end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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