I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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