He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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