And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
