She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
