They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
