i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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