She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize