yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
wow bdsm is so cute
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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