I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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